“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the now.” Socrates
It’s that time of year again. Time to make a crappy New Year’s Resolution or jot down a lame list of goals. If you are anything like I used to be, these resolutions are an annual exercise in futility, frustration, and failure.
But what if this year was different? What if you could actually achieve—not just your “goals”—but your wildest fantasies in 2022?
Well, maybe you can. In fact, I know you can because I have done it.
In late 2018, I was hunkered down in my law office, preparing to write down some goals for 2019. I pulled out a leatherbound notebook to get to work. As I flipped through its pages, I inadvertently stumbled across my list of “2018 goals.”
I didn’t want to look at them. They were sure to evoke a weird mix of shame, embarrassment and disappointment, something along the lines of “I can’t believe I thought I could actually achieve these things!!” mixed with “I can’t believe I didn’t do a single thing to achieve any of these last year.” Ugh.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me back up a bit. Twelve months earlier I had written out a long list of goals for 2018 after reading a number of self-improvement books. I was pumped. I was going to set some solid goals for 2018, including some really over the top money goals. I wrote them down in a new leatherbound notebook I had purchased especially for the exercise.
After writing them down, I did something unusual (for me). I stayed focused on them for the next five to six months. Really focused. I actually tried to accomplish the damn things!
But by the summer, I got lazy. I stopped working on the goals and pretty much forgot all about them. I had had a solid run for about five or six months, but that was it. Another year down the drain.
That’s why I didn’t really want to look at the goals when I happened upon them in my notebook. I knew I had given up halfway through the year.
Curiosity got the better of me because I ended up going over the list. I was shocked to see the money goal I had scribbled down for 2018. I remember feeling ridiculous when I wrote it. It was a large number for my law firm that had no basis in reality. I literally pulled it out of thin air. But as I sat there staring at the number, I was dumbfounded to realize it was almost the exact amount of revenue my firm had generated for 2018. Almost right on the nose!
As I continued reviewing the list, I noticed something else. I had actually accomplished a large number of the goals on the list, even though I had not looked at or thought about the list for the last six months! And even though a number of them were downright weird.
I took a number of specific actions earlier that year that allowed the Universe to intervene on my behalf and make my fantasies come true. Don’t laugh. It’s true. I have outlined a few of those actions below. Hopefully, they will work for you like they have for me.
FANTASIES, NOT GOALS
“If you are not doing some things that are crazy, then you’re doing the wrong things.” Larry Page.
“Then it dawned on me that I would have to start believing in possibilities that I wouldn’t have allowed before, that I had been closing my creativity down to a very narrow, controllable scale . . . that things had become too familiar . . .” Bob Dylan.
This post is about achieving your “wildest fantasies,” not your “goals.” You may be thinking, why don’t you just say “goals” like everyone else? The phrase “wildest fantasies” sounds weird and it kind of has some sexual connotations.
But maybe that is the point. Maybe we should be focused on achieving our actual fantasies—the dangerous, eccentric, exotic, and even the sexual ones. The ones you dream about when you go to bed. The ones you think about while commuting to work. The ones you imagine entertaining your friends with after-the-fact as they listen in shocked jealousy. Those fantasies. The ones that make life exciting and worth living.
Maybe the reason you fail to achieve your “goals” every year is because they are too boring, too predictable, too corporate, too sanitized. Nobody cares about them, not even you.
So this year, try putting together a list of your “wildest fantasies” instead. Make them sexy, eccentric, funny, and outrageous. There is something fun and exciting about putting together this type of list. A list of wild things you are going to do this year that no one knows about. And just imagine the stories you will have next year!
Here are some examples:
- I will run with the bulls in Pamplona with my buddies in 2022.
- I will take fashion risks this year.
- I will get an article published in GQ this year.
- I will travel to Dubai in 2022 where I will drink champagne at the pool of luxury hotel with a beautiful woman/man.
- I will experience [insert a new experience] this year.
- I will travel to the following places this year: Las Vegas; California; an exotic beach locale; Southern Utah; and Wyoming.
- I will get with [insert a number] women/men this year.
- I will go on a self-care trip to a luxury resort with the girls where we get full spa treatments every day over an extended weekend.
- I will eat at three Michelin three-star restaurants this year (three stars means “exceptional cuisine that is worth a special journey” so travel may be required!!!).
- I will eat at the top twelve restaurants in my city this year (one a month).
- I will go skydiving this year with my girlfriends.
- I will enter the World Series of Poker this year.
- I will golf at the top golf club in three different states this year.
- I will get a photo with Obama [insert other celeb here] this year.
- I will go see the Chili Peppers perform at the Holiday Bowl in August.
- I will get invited to at least one swanky event this year where I can wear my little black dress.
- I will experience [insert a new sexual experience] this year.
- I will go on an adventure trip with the boys in 2022 to Costa Rica.
- I will smoke a Cuban.
- I will stay at the Chateau Marmont in 2022.
- I will buy the gold Rolex this year and wear it absolutely everywhere I go.
- I will travel to New Mexico for the sole purpose of seeing the Breaking Bad set locations.
- I will go to the Masters with my friends this year.
- I will do a glamping trip with the fam in Zions this year.
- I will go to Comic-Con to get a photo and signature with my idol, Ice-T.
- I will throw an exotic party this year – 80’s theme; belly dancers; live music, karaoke, fine dining chef for the catering.
- I will commission a piece of art by my favorite artist.
- I will go topless on a beach in France.
- I will meet my favorite reality tv star (Jenn Shaw) this year.
- I will do a deep-sea fishing trip with the boys this year.
- I will see a Nascar race this year.
- I will go to a rave this year.
- I will get a sugar daddy this year.
- I will get a sugar momma this year.
- I will buy the center cut diamond ring I have always wanted.
- I will go to fashion week in New York.
- I will experiment with [fill in the blank with something dangerous] this year.
- I will become a Dua Lipa groupie by seeing her in concert in Los Angeles, San Diego, and Phoenix this summer.
- I will buy the sports car of my dreams with a vanity plate that reads “ISUE4U” on it.
- I will start a monthly poker and cigars night with the guys and call it “Poker All Night.”
- I will have sushi and Sake with a beautiful man/woman at Nobu in Malibu, California this summer.
- I will meditate with the monks in a Tibetan monastery this year.
- I will get the tattoo this year.
- I will get the piercings.
- I will take an RV trip from Northern to Southern California this summer with the family.
- I will put together a team for the bowling league this year called “Angry Balls.”
- I will go to whatever Bowl game the University of Utah gets in this year (likely for the National Championship!).
- I am going to double my income this year.
- I will make two new life-long friends this year.
If you don’t have some stuff like this on your list, is it even worth having? Think outside of the box. Get eccentric. Be specific. Why do you think I flew to Las Vegas earlier this year to see the rap artist DaBaby perform at Drai’s Nightclub?!?! It was on my list . . .
Don’t get me wrong, you are also going to have some of the mundane stuff on your list too. That’s fine. But add some wild fantasies to keep it exciting, weird, and fun. It will keep you interested and make this year one of the best ever.
NOW, NOT LATER
“I think that one of these days . . . you’re going to have to find out where you want to go. And then you’ve got to start going there. But immediately. You can’t afford to lose a minute. Not you.” J.D. Salinger.
Now that I have primed you with some ideas for fun fantasies, you cannot waste a minute getting to work on yours. No, not you. After you read the steps below, start putting them into action. Immediately. If you don’t, you will likely procrastinate like I have done in so many prior years. Procrastination is the enemy of success. Your first assignment is to start writing down your wildest fantasies within twenty-four hours of reading this post.
WRITE YOUR REALITY, REPEATEDLY
“You can make anything by writing.” C.S. Lewis.
One of the most important things I did in 2018 was to write my reality. Writing out my list of fantasies was a start. But, more importantly, I re-wrote all of them every single day. I felt ridiculous doing it, especially since a lot of the items on the list were so far-fetched. But it works.
Imagine if one of your items is to buy wake boarding boat. You want it more than anything. But at the time you write it down, you don’t have enough money to make payments on a boat, let alone buy one. Fine. Even though this item seems ridiculous, every morning re-write it, along with each of your other items: I will purchase a Malibu Wakesetter this year. I will purchase a Malibu Wakesetter this year. I will purchase a Malibu Wakesetter this year. I will purchase a Malibu Wakesetter this year.
As you re-write it every day, you will have a voice telling you that “this item is ridiculous” and that “you are ridiculous for re-writing it down every day like some sort of moron.” But you will have another voice that will say something along the lines of: “You can’t keep writing this down every day without taking any action like some sort of moron” and that “if you are going to write this down on paper every day, you need to start doing something to achieve it.” That second voice will eventually prompt you to start saying to yourself, “what can I do this week that is going to get me closer to my fantasy of owning this damn boat?”
Once you start paying attention to that second voice, the universe (see below) will step in and start making your dreams a reality.
THINK ABOUT THEM, OBSESSIVELY
“Concentrate on what you want to say to yourself . . .” Allen Ginsberg.
What do you say to yourself? Is it negative? Or is it positive and directed toward achieving your wildest fantasies?
You can literally “think” your fantasies into existence. After you write them down, set aside a time to think and meditate about them every day. In 2018, I was waking up at 5:30 a.m. and going to the Sports Mall to work out. After working out, I would head for the sauna and steam rooms. There, surrounded by a bunch of naked, old men, I would close my eyes and meditate on my list, repeating it to myself over and over. Every morning: I will purchase a sports car this year. I will travel to Hawaii this year. I will bring in a big case this year. I will file the class action lawsuit. I will open a second office this year. Over, and over, and over in the sauna. Every day.
Let me say it again. You can literally think your fantasies into reality. You don’t need to know how they are going to happen, just that they are going to happen for you. Let the universe (see below) take care of the rest.
DO IT DIFFERENTLY THIS TIME, NOT LIKE BEFORE
“This time, you’ve got to do something absolutely different from what you’ve ever done before.” Michael Caine.
“I wish I could tell you it gets better, but it doesn’t get better. You get better.” Joan Rivers.
“You’ll be different. You’ll be different from the self that you were. You’re constantly growing.” Helena Bonham Carter.
How has your current approach been working out for you? Maybe wonderfully, but maybe not? Maybe what you have been doing has not worked. And by “not worked,” I mean that maybe what you have been doing has not resulted in your wildest fantasies coming true.
To achieve fantasies you’ve never achieved before, you have to do things you have never done before. As David Lynch says, “if you want to catch the big fish, you’ve got to go deeper.” A lot deeper. You likely need to make significant changes. Get rid of people, beliefs, ideas, and relationships that no longer serve you. Get rid of old patterns and traumas. Chart a new course. Do things different this year. New routines. New people. New practices. New knowledge.
If you do, maybe a few years from now, you may be able to say along with Joan Didion that “I have already lost touch with a couple of people I used to be.”
SOLUTIONS, NOT EXCUSES
“There is only one really good life . . . and that is the life you know you want and you make it yourself.” Dianna Vreeland.
Along the way to achieving your wildest fantasies, you are likely to hit a couple of roadblocks. Maybe you lose your job or your money. An investment goes bad. A relationship ends. Your work-load increases. You are too busy. You are too stressed. You have too much on your plate. You just can’t make your fantasies a reality, right?
These are excuses. We all have them and some of them may even be true. But this year your job is to find solutions. Maybe you don’t have the money right now to drink champagne at the pool of luxury hotel in Dubai. Your job is to find a way to get to your ass to Dubai. You might have to work more hours, take a second job, start the side hustle, or sell some things to get there. But if Dubai is on your list this year, you are going to find a way to get there come hell or high water.
This year your motto is “solutions, not excuses.” Tattoo it on your arm; write it on sticky notes; say it to yourself a hundred times every night before bed. Whatever you have to do to remember that this year you are finding solutions, not making excuses.
“If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.” Nikola Tesla.
I told you at the outset that this this items is the most important thing you can do towards achieving your wildest fantasies in 2022. And it is.
In 2022, you have to connect with a higher energy or higher power to achieve your fantasies. Why? Because if you are doing it right, the things you put on your list are not fully in your control. They are big and require a bit of luck , fortune, fate, blessings from the stars, and some cosmic dust. By that I mean, whether I meet reality tv star Jen Shaw in person in 2022 is not a matter of hard work. The stars need to align. I need the Universe to intervene in some way to make it happen. I don’t know how (and I don’t care). I just know that it will happen.
Do not get me wrong. I am not telling that you need to be more religious. You need to be more spiritual, believing that you are connected to a higher energy or higher power. It doesn’t matter what you call it, but you must start believing that you are connected to something larger than yourself. Call it God, Higher Power, the Stars, Energy, the Universe, the Source, or whatever else works for you, but call it something.
I call it the Universe. I believe it can make things happen in my life if I am putting out the right energy. Some people refer to this as the law of attraction. One version of the law provides that vibration attracts like vibration. That means that if we are vibrating at a low frequency (generating feelings of failure, anxiousness, depression, anger, scarcity), we will attract those types of people, experiences, feelings, and results into our lives. In the alternative, if we are vibrating at a high frequency (generating feelings of gratitude, happiness, positivity, success, and abundance) we will attract those types of people, experiences, feelings, and results into our lives.
If you are one of my lawyer friends reading this, you are probably rolling your eyes. Don’t. Start changing your frequency this year and see if the Universe conspires to make your wildest fantasies come true.
Here is a short list of some things you can do this year to vibrate at the right frequency. Love yourself; do things you love; pamper yourself; forgive yourself; practice gratitude; do not talk negatively about yourself; no self-deprecating humor; spend less time with people vibrating at low frequencies; meditate; read self-improvement books; listen to positive podcasts; don’t compare yourself with others; believe that the Universe has good things in store for you.
In addition, you need to become obsessed with self-affirmations. Add a number of them to your list so you can re-write them out daily. Here are some examples that I use:
- I radiate abundance.
- I live in a world of unlimited possibilities.
- I am open to receiving all of the good things.
- I connect easily and deeply with everyone I meet.
- My body is strong and healthy and heals itself naturally.
- I am wealthy.
- I am the top personal injury attorney in Salt Lake City.
- I have a fulfilling life.
- I have deep and meaningful relationships with my family members.
A note for those that are deeply committed to a specific faith tradition. As you work on these affirmations, I suggest you disconnect them from your specific religious beliefs and faith traditions. Otherwise, your affirmations—and your fantasies themselves—are going to take on a baggage from your faith tradition. For instance, your faith tradition might teach that the only way to succeed in life is by following that tradition’s specific rules, commandments, and teachings. And, as a result, you might tell yourself that you are not worthy of achieving your fantasies because you have not prayed hard enough; worshipped enough; paid enough; attended enough; repented enough; served enough; or otherwise followed your faith tradition’s rules or commandments closely enough.
For purposes of reaching your fantasies this year, stay away from that baggage if you can. Instead, simply tell yourself that the Universe has good things in store for you; the Universe will provide; the Universe will help you achieve your fantasies, the Universe is abundant and will provide a way. By doing so, you just might find out that the Universe is more responsive to making your wildest fantasies come true than your specific faith tradition.
Please do not misinterpret what I am saying about religion. I think religion can be beautiful, meaningful, and beneficial. But I think for purposes of achieving some of your wildest fantasies this year, there is some room to adopt a more expansive view of the Universe.
I hope these ideas help you start thinking of some new strategies for achieving your wildest fantasies in 2022. Remember, you live in a universe of unlimited possibilities.
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